Just got home from finishing a wedding. I don't have a lot of time for a long commentary, but I wanted to post the wedding service and a couple of thoughts.
Over the past several years I have changed the way that I do weddings. First of all, I no longer charge for any services rendered. If someone wishes to give me a gift, I do not refuse (for various reasons like etiquette and traveling expenses). But when asked to do a wedding and asked what my fees are I say, "It's a privilege to do weddings. It's another opportunity for me to share the gospel with several hundred people at once. For that I cannot charge and I'll do it gladly for free" (even if there is no gift afterwards). Also, I let them know that doing it for free allows them to spend money on other costly things or they can save some money (novel idea).
Secondly, when I do a wedding, I disclose to the couple that the wedding service is actually a worship service so Christ and His gospel will be central to the wedding. I let them know that I only do Christian weddings. I give them an example of a previous wedding that I have done so that they can read it and decide if they still want me to perform the service. If they don't want me to then they can decline and that is ok with me.
Now some people have a conscience that will not allow them to marry unbelievers. I will marry two unbelievers because marriage is for all, not just Christians. I won't marry a believer and an unbeliever. But marrying two unbelievers gives me many opportunities to share the gospel (with the couple beforehand and with all the guest during the service). Today, I had this opportunity. I was a bit nervous because it was a wedding in which I practically knew nobody. Well, I knew the groom's mom and that was it...well, my wife was there, too...but that's really it. I wasn't sure how the entire gathering would respond. You know it's easier to preach in front of your the home crowd (your own church family) verses a group of people in which you assume most to be unbelievers. So who knew how this would turn out. But the groom and bride had read the sermon ahead of time and still wanted me to do perform the service, so I went ahead with many prayers and utter dependence on God.
I fumbled a few words. "Cherishes" is hard to say when you're a bit nervous. Not a big deal. I'm not sure how unbelievers received the message. I just know that I tried to be faithful to the simple task God had given me. Thank you for those that prayed for me and any unsaved present at the ceremony. I will say that there were several believers present that were happily stunned that the ceremony was so overtly Christian. They confessed that they had never heard a wedding service quite like it but were wonderfully pleased. That was encouraging to say the least (not for my ego, but to see the Lord encourage the body through His Word).
Anyway, so that's my comment on weddings: I do them for free and they are overtly Christian in nature. May the Lord be honored in all we do...even wedding services. Here now is the transcript--word for word...literally.
OPENING PRAYER/BE SEATED
Father in heaven, we bless your name and give glory to you now. We know that every good gift we have is from you. As we come together to celebrate the gift of marriage and love, I pray that our hearts would be filled with gratitude for your kindness. Bless this wedding service now for your sake. We pray this is the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.
Please be seated.
WELCOME
Love ones, we are gathered here today in the sight of God and in the presence of all of you, to celebrate one of life's greatest moments, to give recognition to the worth and beauty of love, and to add our support and blessings to the covenant that will unite LUCAS and SUZEE in holy matrimony.
Marriage is a most honorable estate, created and instituted by God for the mutual caring on one another. Marriage was also given to us by God to help us understand the wonderful loving and everlasting union that also exists between Christ and His Church. So too may this marriage be adorned by true and lasting love. And so now I ask:
GIVING & RECEIVING OF THE BRIDE
Who gives this woman to be married to this man? (Father, responds)
LUCAS, you may receive your bride. (Father will place the bride’s hand with the groom's and steps back.)
LUCAS and SUZEE, God created people with the need for relationship. First and foremost, we were created to know and love God. Understanding this helps us to see how we can properly love one another. Let me explain. In the tragedy of all tragedies, sin entered the human race and has blinded us to the beauty, majesty and infinite worth of our loving God. Because of sin we do not naturally desire and love God and see Him as the true Treasure that will forever satisfy our hungry souls. Our relationship with Him has been ruined and we are no longer at peace and in love with Him. Yet God was not willing to leave our relationship with Him in this state. As a people who run away from God, God is one who runs after us with an intense love. His love is a restoring love and a reconciling love.
The way that God restores the relationship between Himself and sinful mankind is through the great sacrifice and resurrection of His Son Jesus Christ. The Father sent the Son to live the sinless life that we failed to live. Jesus loved the Father perfectly. Scripture declares that when we put our confidence or faith in Jesus to save us from our sin and God’s great penalty for our sin, that God gives us, as a gift, the perfect obedience of Christ so that when God looks at us, He no longer sees us as sinners but as sinless and perfect. By faith in Christ our sin was transferred to Christ so that when He suffered on the cross, He was suffering and paying the penalty for my sinful life and any who put their faith in Christ. This is how God makes peace and restores the love relationship between Him and sinful man. It is the love and mercy of God that brings us back to Him in complete love.
I mention this because Scripture uses the language of marriage to describe the relationship between Christ and those who put their faith in Christ, namely the church. Scripture calls Christ the groom and it calls the church His bride. The Bible tells us that Christ gave up His life for His bride--for the church--that she might be saved and have an everlasting and ever-increasing joy as she is brought to be with God for all eternity. And it is this pattern of love and devotion that God sets forth as the pattern for our marriage relationships. So first and foremost, if we do not understand the great lengths that the Godhead went through to restore sinners to Him, then we will not have the proper lens to look through with which to guide our marriages.
Ephesians 5:25-33 [25] Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…
[28] In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. [29] For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30] because we are members of his body. [31] “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” [32] This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. [33] However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
In as plain language as possible, the Bible teaches us that Christ loved His church and willingly laid down His life for her good and in order that she might live eternally. In response the church is to lovingly devote her life to her Savior. This is exactly how the husband and wife are told to relate to one another. The husband’s duty is not to seek his own good, but to seek his wife’s good. The wife’s duty is to seek her husband’s good, not her own. Marriage is not about self-gratification, but the gratification of the one to whom you are making this covenant with. The covenant and vows that you are about to make are written specifically in that way for a reason. They are statements that reflect the commitment that you are making to the other person. The vows are not promises to seek out the desires of self but to meet each others’ needs in all circumstances, good or bad, ‘til death do you part. As each of you keeps your vows, the other will have the utmost confidence that all of their needs will be met. In this type of covenant keeping is true security and the foundation for a long and fruitful marriage. And so my prayer is for both of you to honor God by portraying the everlasting love relationship between Christ and His church. And since nothing will separate the church from her Savior, so too shall this marriage continue until the day that God separates you by death.
Matthew 19:6 So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.
The covenant you make here now before God and these witnesses is solemn and to be entered into with this understanding. The vows that you are about to partake in are your promise to each other and to God that with His help you will do all that is necessary to keep your marriage healthy, thriving and intact.
Press into each other. Fight for a great marriage. Never yield to things that would weaken your love for one another. Realize that it is a great and blessed thing to be married and that it is God’s gift to you to show you His goodness. And above all, let the love that Christ had for His church be your motivation and guide and example for loving each other.
Understanding now the gravity and delight of marriage rooted in the love of Christ for His church, would you please continue to hold hands and face each other.
VOWS
LUCAS, do you take SUZEE to be your lawfully wedded wife, to love and respect her, honor and cherish her, in health and in sickness, in prosperity and in adversity; and leaving all others to keep yourself only unto her, so long as you both shall live? ("I do")
SUZEE, do you take LUCAS to be your lawfully wedded husband, to love and respect him, honor and cherish him, in health and in sickness, in prosperity and in adversity; and leaving all others to keep yourself only unto him, so long as you both shall live? ("I do")
EXCHANGE OF RINGS
Wedding rings are made of gold that have been purged from all it’s impurities. In our culture they symbolize the pure and unending love that the two of you are to have for one another. As you wear them, you declare to the rest of the world that your hearts are spoken for and that you belong to another. They are the outward sign of your inward commitment to each other.
LUCAS, please take this ring and place it on SUZEE’S finger and repeat after me. “With this ring, I thee wed. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen."
SUZEE, please take this ring and place it on LUCA’S finger and repeat after me. “With this ring, I thee wed. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen."
CHARGE TO THE COUPLE
LUCAS and SUZEE as the two of you come into this marriage united as husband and wife, and as you this day affirm your love for one another, I would ask that you always remember the vows you have made here today. Cherish each other as special and unique individuals. Respect each other’s thoughts, ideas and suggestions. You must always forgive, never hold grudges, and live each day with Christ-like love as you share it together. From this day forward you shall be each other's home, comfort and refuge. And I pray that your marriage will be strengthened by your love and respect for our great God and Savior Jesus Christ.
CLOSING PRAYER
Father, my prayer is that you would guard the covenant that has just been made. When life throws adversities at LUCAS and SUZEE, protect them. Give them endurance. Give them grace. Give them everything that is necessary for a long and healthy marriage. May their friends and family provide them with encouragement and counsel from this day forward. May the love that you have for us, inspire their love for each other. We pray this in Jesus’ name. Amen.
PRONOUNCEMENT / BENEDICTION / KISSING OF BRIDE
LUCAS and SUZEE in so much as the two of you have agreed to live together in matrimony, having promised your love for each other by these vows, the giving of these rings and the joining of your hands…as a minister of the gospel of Jesus Christ, I now declare you to be husband and wife. May the Lord bless you and keep you. May the Lord make his face to shine upon you and may He gracious to you.
LUCAS, you may kiss your wife.
PRESENTATION & DISMISSAL
Loved ones, I present to you for the first time, Mr. and Mrs. LUCAS BLANKENSHIP.
Over the past several years I have changed the way that I do weddings. First of all, I no longer charge for any services rendered. If someone wishes to give me a gift, I do not refuse (for various reasons like etiquette and traveling expenses). But when asked to do a wedding and asked what my fees are I say, "It's a privilege to do weddings. It's another opportunity for me to share the gospel with several hundred people at once. For that I cannot charge and I'll do it gladly for free" (even if there is no gift afterwards). Also, I let them know that doing it for free allows them to spend money on other costly things or they can save some money (novel idea).
Secondly, when I do a wedding, I disclose to the couple that the wedding service is actually a worship service so Christ and His gospel will be central to the wedding. I let them know that I only do Christian weddings. I give them an example of a previous wedding that I have done so that they can read it and decide if they still want me to perform the service. If they don't want me to then they can decline and that is ok with me.
Now some people have a conscience that will not allow them to marry unbelievers. I will marry two unbelievers because marriage is for all, not just Christians. I won't marry a believer and an unbeliever. But marrying two unbelievers gives me many opportunities to share the gospel (with the couple beforehand and with all the guest during the service). Today, I had this opportunity. I was a bit nervous because it was a wedding in which I practically knew nobody. Well, I knew the groom's mom and that was it...well, my wife was there, too...but that's really it. I wasn't sure how the entire gathering would respond. You know it's easier to preach in front of your the home crowd (your own church family) verses a group of people in which you assume most to be unbelievers. So who knew how this would turn out. But the groom and bride had read the sermon ahead of time and still wanted me to do perform the service, so I went ahead with many prayers and utter dependence on God.
I fumbled a few words. "Cherishes" is hard to say when you're a bit nervous. Not a big deal. I'm not sure how unbelievers received the message. I just know that I tried to be faithful to the simple task God had given me. Thank you for those that prayed for me and any unsaved present at the ceremony. I will say that there were several believers present that were happily stunned that the ceremony was so overtly Christian. They confessed that they had never heard a wedding service quite like it but were wonderfully pleased. That was encouraging to say the least (not for my ego, but to see the Lord encourage the body through His Word).
Anyway, so that's my comment on weddings: I do them for free and they are overtly Christian in nature. May the Lord be honored in all we do...even wedding services. Here now is the transcript--word for word...literally.
OPENING PRAYER/BE SEATED
Father in heaven, we bless your name and give glory to you now. We know that every good gift we have is from you. As we come together to celebrate the gift of marriage and love, I pray that our hearts would be filled with gratitude for your kindness. Bless this wedding service now for your sake. We pray this is the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.
Please be seated.
WELCOME
Love ones, we are gathered here today in the sight of God and in the presence of all of you, to celebrate one of life's greatest moments, to give recognition to the worth and beauty of love, and to add our support and blessings to the covenant that will unite LUCAS and SUZEE in holy matrimony.
Marriage is a most honorable estate, created and instituted by God for the mutual caring on one another. Marriage was also given to us by God to help us understand the wonderful loving and everlasting union that also exists between Christ and His Church. So too may this marriage be adorned by true and lasting love. And so now I ask:
GIVING & RECEIVING OF THE BRIDE
Who gives this woman to be married to this man? (Father, responds)
LUCAS, you may receive your bride. (Father will place the bride’s hand with the groom's and steps back.)
LUCAS and SUZEE, God created people with the need for relationship. First and foremost, we were created to know and love God. Understanding this helps us to see how we can properly love one another. Let me explain. In the tragedy of all tragedies, sin entered the human race and has blinded us to the beauty, majesty and infinite worth of our loving God. Because of sin we do not naturally desire and love God and see Him as the true Treasure that will forever satisfy our hungry souls. Our relationship with Him has been ruined and we are no longer at peace and in love with Him. Yet God was not willing to leave our relationship with Him in this state. As a people who run away from God, God is one who runs after us with an intense love. His love is a restoring love and a reconciling love.
The way that God restores the relationship between Himself and sinful mankind is through the great sacrifice and resurrection of His Son Jesus Christ. The Father sent the Son to live the sinless life that we failed to live. Jesus loved the Father perfectly. Scripture declares that when we put our confidence or faith in Jesus to save us from our sin and God’s great penalty for our sin, that God gives us, as a gift, the perfect obedience of Christ so that when God looks at us, He no longer sees us as sinners but as sinless and perfect. By faith in Christ our sin was transferred to Christ so that when He suffered on the cross, He was suffering and paying the penalty for my sinful life and any who put their faith in Christ. This is how God makes peace and restores the love relationship between Him and sinful man. It is the love and mercy of God that brings us back to Him in complete love.
I mention this because Scripture uses the language of marriage to describe the relationship between Christ and those who put their faith in Christ, namely the church. Scripture calls Christ the groom and it calls the church His bride. The Bible tells us that Christ gave up His life for His bride--for the church--that she might be saved and have an everlasting and ever-increasing joy as she is brought to be with God for all eternity. And it is this pattern of love and devotion that God sets forth as the pattern for our marriage relationships. So first and foremost, if we do not understand the great lengths that the Godhead went through to restore sinners to Him, then we will not have the proper lens to look through with which to guide our marriages.
Ephesians 5:25-33 [25] Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…
[28] In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. [29] For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30] because we are members of his body. [31] “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” [32] This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. [33] However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
In as plain language as possible, the Bible teaches us that Christ loved His church and willingly laid down His life for her good and in order that she might live eternally. In response the church is to lovingly devote her life to her Savior. This is exactly how the husband and wife are told to relate to one another. The husband’s duty is not to seek his own good, but to seek his wife’s good. The wife’s duty is to seek her husband’s good, not her own. Marriage is not about self-gratification, but the gratification of the one to whom you are making this covenant with. The covenant and vows that you are about to make are written specifically in that way for a reason. They are statements that reflect the commitment that you are making to the other person. The vows are not promises to seek out the desires of self but to meet each others’ needs in all circumstances, good or bad, ‘til death do you part. As each of you keeps your vows, the other will have the utmost confidence that all of their needs will be met. In this type of covenant keeping is true security and the foundation for a long and fruitful marriage. And so my prayer is for both of you to honor God by portraying the everlasting love relationship between Christ and His church. And since nothing will separate the church from her Savior, so too shall this marriage continue until the day that God separates you by death.
Matthew 19:6 So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.
The covenant you make here now before God and these witnesses is solemn and to be entered into with this understanding. The vows that you are about to partake in are your promise to each other and to God that with His help you will do all that is necessary to keep your marriage healthy, thriving and intact.
Press into each other. Fight for a great marriage. Never yield to things that would weaken your love for one another. Realize that it is a great and blessed thing to be married and that it is God’s gift to you to show you His goodness. And above all, let the love that Christ had for His church be your motivation and guide and example for loving each other.
Understanding now the gravity and delight of marriage rooted in the love of Christ for His church, would you please continue to hold hands and face each other.
VOWS
LUCAS, do you take SUZEE to be your lawfully wedded wife, to love and respect her, honor and cherish her, in health and in sickness, in prosperity and in adversity; and leaving all others to keep yourself only unto her, so long as you both shall live? ("I do")
SUZEE, do you take LUCAS to be your lawfully wedded husband, to love and respect him, honor and cherish him, in health and in sickness, in prosperity and in adversity; and leaving all others to keep yourself only unto him, so long as you both shall live? ("I do")
EXCHANGE OF RINGS
Wedding rings are made of gold that have been purged from all it’s impurities. In our culture they symbolize the pure and unending love that the two of you are to have for one another. As you wear them, you declare to the rest of the world that your hearts are spoken for and that you belong to another. They are the outward sign of your inward commitment to each other.
LUCAS, please take this ring and place it on SUZEE’S finger and repeat after me. “With this ring, I thee wed. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen."
SUZEE, please take this ring and place it on LUCA’S finger and repeat after me. “With this ring, I thee wed. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen."
CHARGE TO THE COUPLE
LUCAS and SUZEE as the two of you come into this marriage united as husband and wife, and as you this day affirm your love for one another, I would ask that you always remember the vows you have made here today. Cherish each other as special and unique individuals. Respect each other’s thoughts, ideas and suggestions. You must always forgive, never hold grudges, and live each day with Christ-like love as you share it together. From this day forward you shall be each other's home, comfort and refuge. And I pray that your marriage will be strengthened by your love and respect for our great God and Savior Jesus Christ.
CLOSING PRAYER
Father, my prayer is that you would guard the covenant that has just been made. When life throws adversities at LUCAS and SUZEE, protect them. Give them endurance. Give them grace. Give them everything that is necessary for a long and healthy marriage. May their friends and family provide them with encouragement and counsel from this day forward. May the love that you have for us, inspire their love for each other. We pray this in Jesus’ name. Amen.
PRONOUNCEMENT / BENEDICTION / KISSING OF BRIDE
LUCAS and SUZEE in so much as the two of you have agreed to live together in matrimony, having promised your love for each other by these vows, the giving of these rings and the joining of your hands…as a minister of the gospel of Jesus Christ, I now declare you to be husband and wife. May the Lord bless you and keep you. May the Lord make his face to shine upon you and may He gracious to you.
LUCAS, you may kiss your wife.
PRESENTATION & DISMISSAL
Loved ones, I present to you for the first time, Mr. and Mrs. LUCAS BLANKENSHIP.
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