Marriage

It seems as if Josh stole a bit of my thunder with his post, but I too was privileged to be a part of a wedding this past Saturday. So often a wedding is a celebration of two people joining their lives together and forming a union in front of family, friends, and God. It is the culmination of every little girl's fantasy growing up and the satisfaction of every young man in his pursuit for that perfect "one". Everyone is there to adore the beautiful bride and congratulate the new groom. The wedding party's job is to make sure everything goes according to plan and to make the bride and groom look as good as possible. It is a momentous occasion as well it should be.

But as I stood there during the ceremony I thought nothing of these things. I was truly blessed to be a part of the wedding and am greatly encouraged by the relationship that God has brought together. However, I found myself reflecting on how marriage is the perfect reflection of the unconditional love Christ has for His saints. He sacrificed His own life so that in turn we might enjoy the benefits of His righteousness. He has set us apart from all others to have and to keep unto Himself. His desire is to present us as holy, unblemished, and in splendor! How awesome will it be on that day when we, as the bride, will be presented to Christ as a beautifully adorned bride bearing His purity, holiness, and righteousness all because of His infinite love for us!

Ephesians 5:25-27
25Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.

A Wedding Service

Just got home from finishing a wedding. I don't have a lot of time for a long commentary, but I wanted to post the wedding service and a couple of thoughts.

Over the past several years I have changed the way that I do weddings. First of all, I no longer charge for any services rendered. If someone wishes to give me a gift, I do not refuse (for various reasons like etiquette and traveling expenses). But when asked to do a wedding and asked what my fees are I say, "It's a privilege to do weddings. It's another opportunity for me to share the gospel with several hundred people at once. For that I cannot charge and I'll do it gladly for free" (even if there is no gift afterwards). Also, I let them know that doing it for free allows them to spend money on other costly things or they can save some money (novel idea).

Secondly, when I do a wedding, I disclose to the couple that the wedding service is actually a worship service so Christ and His gospel will be central to the wedding. I let them know that I only do Christian weddings. I give them an example of a previous wedding that I have done so that they can read it and decide if they still want me to perform the service. If they don't want me to then they can decline and that is ok with me.

Now some people have a conscience that will not allow them to marry unbelievers. I will marry two unbelievers because marriage is for all, not just Christians. I won't marry a believer and an unbeliever. But marrying two unbelievers gives me many opportunities to share the gospel (with the couple beforehand and with all the guest during the service). Today, I had this opportunity. I was a bit nervous because it was a wedding in which I practically knew nobody. Well, I knew the groom's mom and that was it...well, my wife was there, too...but that's really it. I wasn't sure how the entire gathering would respond. You know it's easier to preach in front of your the home crowd (your own church family) verses a group of people in which you assume most to be unbelievers. So who knew how this would turn out. But the groom and bride had read the sermon ahead of time and still wanted me to do perform the service, so I went ahead with many prayers and utter dependence on God.

I fumbled a few words. "Cherishes" is hard to say when you're a bit nervous. Not a big deal. I'm not sure how unbelievers received the message. I just know that I tried to be faithful to the simple task God had given me. Thank you for those that prayed for me and any unsaved present at the ceremony. I will say that there were several believers present that were happily stunned that the ceremony was so overtly Christian. They confessed that they had never heard a wedding service quite like it but were wonderfully pleased. That was encouraging to say the least (not for my ego, but to see the Lord encourage the body through His Word).

Anyway, so that's my comment on weddings: I do them for free and they are overtly Christian in nature. May the Lord be honored in all we do...even wedding services. Here now is the transcript--word for word...literally.



OPENING PRAYER/BE SEATED
Father in heaven, we bless your name and give glory to you now. We know that every good gift we have is from you. As we come together to celebrate the gift of marriage and love, I pray that our hearts would be filled with gratitude for your kindness. Bless this wedding service now for your sake. We pray this is the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

Please be seated.

WELCOME
Love ones, we are gathered here today in the sight of God and in the presence of all of you, to celebrate one of life's greatest moments, to give recognition to the worth and beauty of love, and to add our support and blessings to the covenant that will unite LUCAS and SUZEE in holy matrimony.

Marriage is a most honorable estate, created and instituted by God for the mutual caring on one another. Marriage was also given to us by God to help us understand the wonderful loving and everlasting union that also exists between Christ and His Church. So too may this marriage be adorned by true and lasting love. And so now I ask:

GIVING & RECEIVING OF THE BRIDE
Who gives this woman to be married to this man? (Father, responds)

LUCAS, you may receive your bride. (Father will place the bride’s hand with the groom's and steps back.)

LUCAS and SUZEE, God created people with the need for relationship. First and foremost, we were created to know and love God. Understanding this helps us to see how we can properly love one another. Let me explain. In the tragedy of all tragedies, sin entered the human race and has blinded us to the beauty, majesty and infinite worth of our loving God. Because of sin we do not naturally desire and love God and see Him as the true Treasure that will forever satisfy our hungry souls. Our relationship with Him has been ruined and we are no longer at peace and in love with Him. Yet God was not willing to leave our relationship with Him in this state. As a people who run away from God, God is one who runs after us with an intense love. His love is a restoring love and a reconciling love.

The way that God restores the relationship between Himself and sinful mankind is through the great sacrifice and resurrection of His Son Jesus Christ. The Father sent the Son to live the sinless life that we failed to live. Jesus loved the Father perfectly. Scripture declares that when we put our confidence or faith in Jesus to save us from our sin and God’s great penalty for our sin, that God gives us, as a gift, the perfect obedience of Christ so that when God looks at us, He no longer sees us as sinners but as sinless and perfect. By faith in Christ our sin was transferred to Christ so that when He suffered on the cross, He was suffering and paying the penalty for my sinful life and any who put their faith in Christ. This is how God makes peace and restores the love relationship between Him and sinful man. It is the love and mercy of God that brings us back to Him in complete love.

I mention this because Scripture uses the language of marriage to describe the relationship between Christ and those who put their faith in Christ, namely the church. Scripture calls Christ the groom and it calls the church His bride. The Bible tells us that Christ gave up His life for His bride--for the church--that she might be saved and have an everlasting and ever-increasing joy as she is brought to be with God for all eternity. And it is this pattern of love and devotion that God sets forth as the pattern for our marriage relationships. So first and foremost, if we do not understand the great lengths that the Godhead went through to restore sinners to Him, then we will not have the proper lens to look through with which to guide our marriages.

Ephesians 5:25-33 [25] Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…

[28] In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. [29] For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30] because we are members of his body. [31] “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” [32] This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. [33] However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

In as plain language as possible, the Bible teaches us that Christ loved His church and willingly laid down His life for her good and in order that she might live eternally. In response the church is to lovingly devote her life to her Savior. This is exactly how the husband and wife are told to relate to one another. The husband’s duty is not to seek his own good, but to seek his wife’s good. The wife’s duty is to seek her husband’s good, not her own. Marriage is not about self-gratification, but the gratification of the one to whom you are making this covenant with. The covenant and vows that you are about to make are written specifically in that way for a reason. They are statements that reflect the commitment that you are making to the other person. The vows are not promises to seek out the desires of self but to meet each others’ needs in all circumstances, good or bad, ‘til death do you part. As each of you keeps your vows, the other will have the utmost confidence that all of their needs will be met. In this type of covenant keeping is true security and the foundation for a long and fruitful marriage. And so my prayer is for both of you to honor God by portraying the everlasting love relationship between Christ and His church. And since nothing will separate the church from her Savior, so too shall this marriage continue until the day that God separates you by death.

Matthew 19:6 So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.

The covenant you make here now before God and these witnesses is solemn and to be entered into with this understanding. The vows that you are about to partake in are your promise to each other and to God that with His help you will do all that is necessary to keep your marriage healthy, thriving and intact.

Press into each other. Fight for a great marriage. Never yield to things that would weaken your love for one another. Realize that it is a great and blessed thing to be married and that it is God’s gift to you to show you His goodness. And above all, let the love that Christ had for His church be your motivation and guide and example for loving each other.

Understanding now the gravity and delight of marriage rooted in the love of Christ for His church, would you please continue to hold hands and face each other.

VOWS
LUCAS, do you take SUZEE to be your lawfully wedded wife, to love and respect her, honor and cherish her, in health and in sickness, in prosperity and in adversity; and leaving all others to keep yourself only unto her, so long as you both shall live? ("I do")

SUZEE, do you take LUCAS to be your lawfully wedded husband, to love and respect him, honor and cherish him, in health and in sickness, in prosperity and in adversity; and leaving all others to keep yourself only unto him, so long as you both shall live? ("I do")

EXCHANGE OF RINGS
Wedding rings are made of gold that have been purged from all it’s impurities. In our culture they symbolize the pure and unending love that the two of you are to have for one another. As you wear them, you declare to the rest of the world that your hearts are spoken for and that you belong to another. They are the outward sign of your inward commitment to each other.

LUCAS, please take this ring and place it on SUZEE’S finger and repeat after me. “With this ring, I thee wed. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen."

SUZEE, please take this ring and place it on LUCA’S finger and repeat after me. “With this ring, I thee wed. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen."

CHARGE TO THE COUPLE
LUCAS and SUZEE as the two of you come into this marriage united as husband and wife, and as you this day affirm your love for one another, I would ask that you always remember the vows you have made here today. Cherish each other as special and unique individuals. Respect each other’s thoughts, ideas and suggestions. You must always forgive, never hold grudges, and live each day with Christ-like love as you share it together. From this day forward you shall be each other's home, comfort and refuge. And I pray that your marriage will be strengthened by your love and respect for our great God and Savior Jesus Christ.

CLOSING PRAYER
Father, my prayer is that you would guard the covenant that has just been made. When life throws adversities at LUCAS and SUZEE, protect them. Give them endurance. Give them grace. Give them everything that is necessary for a long and healthy marriage. May their friends and family provide them with encouragement and counsel from this day forward. May the love that you have for us, inspire their love for each other. We pray this in Jesus’ name. Amen.

PRONOUNCEMENT / BENEDICTION / KISSING OF BRIDE
LUCAS and SUZEE in so much as the two of you have agreed to live together in matrimony, having promised your love for each other by these vows, the giving of these rings and the joining of your hands…as a minister of the gospel of Jesus Christ, I now declare you to be husband and wife. May the Lord bless you and keep you. May the Lord make his face to shine upon you and may He gracious to you.

LUCAS, you may kiss your wife.

PRESENTATION & DISMISSAL
Loved ones, I present to you for the first time, Mr. and Mrs. LUCAS BLANKENSHIP.

Doctrine Invokes Love



"It's impossible to avoid theology and doctrine. Everyone is a theologian. Everyone has doctrine. The only questions are: 'Are you a good theologian or a bad theologian?' and 'Is your doctrine right or wrong?'"

-Ligon Duncan

I love this man.

The Over-Entertained Christian

There are some things that bother me. In being bothered by these things I often have to stop and examine my heart. I wonder at times if I am being judgmental, over-critical, self-righteous or sincerly concerned about the issue I am about to bring up. I pray that this post is born of our genuine concern for the state of the church as it is called to be the visible display of God's glory on earth.

Instead of just naming the issue, let me describe the situation that grieves my heart. Having been a minister of the gospel for thirteen years and having been in the church for twenty-nine years I have observed the same event take place over and over. This event usually happens before and after corporate worship. And this event usually extends to other informal times where saints gather together. The event is simply conversation. Conversation is an important identifier because it is expresses to others, in verbal manner, what is at the forefront of our minds. What you say is what is on your mind and what is on your heart. For some who identify themselves as followers of Christ--or Christians if you're old-school--their conversation rarely, if at all, shows that Christ is on their mind. The content of their conversation seems to exclusively focus on sports, movies, music and other trvial matters and events.

Before I say anymore, let me say that I enjoy watching movies. I love music. I don't care too much for sports, but I am sure that I have other things in my life that would be the equivalent. I don't think there is anything wrong with being amused and/or being entertained. There is a time for everything. But these things should not consume all of our time or a great majority of our conversations. In a society where we consume things, it often appears that these things are consuming us. They take up way too much of our time. Our time is our life...and so to be over-entertained and over-amused and to spend an excessive amount of time doing and participating in these trivial matters means that we are not being good stewards of our lives. We are literally wasting the gift that God gave us to use for His global glory.

Now, the conversations that I have often witnessed before corporate worship and after corporate worship are often focused on entertainment issues. I have seen a few people get very animated and excited when discussing their favorite sports team or plans to go see a movie. That's not what's troubling. What's troubling is what is missing. What's missing is the same passion and excitement over the Lord Jesus Christ, over His Word, over His church or lost souls. What's missing are the conversations of Christians discussing a theological book, or some important issue in culture and how we are to address these things from a Biblical perspective. What's missing are the conversations over doctrine--if you don't love doctrine you DON'T love God...plain and simple.

That grieves my heart. If I were an outsider (unbeliever) looking in at a church that is not consumed with God's glory, it would look like this. "Hmmm...I get it. These Christians get together to sing a few songs, hear a short little talk about life's issues, collect some money to support their building projects, try to collect my info via an attendance card so they can send me mailers to get me to come to their many events and programs--Why? They probably want my money. Then after their corporate meetings--which resemble a mild effort to entertain and imitate the cool things we (the world) do--they gather in affinity groups, either by age or by hobby...and then they talk about movies, sports, lunch plans, concerts, television, celebrities, health issues, politics and all sorts of other things that I enjoy talking about too. Heck, I like this church thing. It's very social...and as long as I don't have to give too much money or time to it, I'm down with the program."

Now I don't mean to sound overly harsh. But we must honestly assess the cavalier attitude that many have concerning the Lord's Day. For many professing believers, it is merely a social time mixed with a little spiritual time. There is no eager anticipation to get us there on time...or even a few minutes early. There is no sense of awe...there is no God-centeredness...there is no capturing of the heart and mind by the Word of God (perhaps due to the irrelevant, man-centered content that preachers pad the the Word of God with). The shift from worship to sensual talk takes place immediately after the "amen" of the closing prayer.

Does that bother, you? Is it possible that this bothers the Lord? As a pastor, it bothers me. And I'm trying to assess whether that is justifiable or not. Should it bother me that after church I want to talk about all sorts of things, but not God's grace, which I just should have heard about for however long the service was. Had I been at an hour and a half long meeting where the President of the United States spoke about nuclear arms, or the troubling economy, or some very serious world issue, and had the meeting just ended, would I be off and talking about the NFL, Michael Jackson, my new belt, Denzel's latest movie or how I went "all-in" and won the pot the night before...or would my mind be sobered by the gravity of the speech and would I have my heart and mind on more serious matters. I think the latter would take place. So why does this not happen with Christians who come to hear Almighty God speak? Why is there such a cavalier attitude immediately after the preaching? Why is the Christian consumed with being amused and entertained?

Well, to be sure, sin is the culprit. Satan would have no greater pleasure than to have us think that all is ok simply because we are happy (due to our being amused and entertained). How easy is it for us to think that life is great because we just ate some Coldstone, or saw Coldplay, or just read a great book on the Cold War, or rented Cold Mountain starring "Nicold" Kidman...um, running out of "cold"-isms. In all seriousness, have we forgotten that we have a great adversary? Have we forgotten to be sober-minded in order to resist his sly tricks? Have we so forgotten that sensuality is a sin? That's what an over-entertained Christian is...sensual. And when we gather together after hearing the Word of the Lord and our mouths run rampant with the latest cultural phenomena, then our words betray us. They show and confess that we are not in love with the glory of God but with the glory of the world.

Now let me say that not every conversation has to be "spiritual" immediately following the sermon. I am not advocating some sort of legalism that says that every conversation we have must be about the Bible. What I'm saying is that more often than not, the conversations rarely go in God's direction. That is troubling and I think it's very telling. How do we fix that? How do we instill in people a sense of awe and wonder so that the weight and glory and presence of God in His Word weighs on us for as long as possible? Well, our preaching must change.

The modern-day preacher, I think, may have too many references to pop-culture and entertainment type things that we already love. What we need to hear more of is God and His marvelous grace. God's attributes need to be expounded upon in His Word and need to be shown in relation to the gospel. God's wrath, faithfulness, goodness, kindness, patience, forgiveness, justice, mercy, righteousness, love, omniscience, omnipotence, decrees and covenants are all related to grace and the gospel. We need to be taught doctrines like election, atonement, imputation, propitiation, perseverance, regeneration, sanctification, adoption, justification and how they are spokes on the gospel hub. We need to be shown how resting is a gospel issue, how child discipline is a gospel issue, how marriage is a gospel issue, how adopting orphans is a gospel issue, how work is a gospel issue, how giving is a gospel issue, how food is a gospel issue, how clothing is a gospel issue, etc. The problem with a lot of preaching is that it carries no weight...no real spiritual weight and merely imitates the advice of the world. Oh, how we need to come away from the Word of God having been jolted by the awe-inspiring fact that "Almighty God has spoken." I think then our conversations would change because our hearts would be captured, not by the world, but by God's grace. Let's not forget that friendship with the world is enmity with God.

My prayer is that one day churches will be filled with exuberant Christians who converse before and after corporate worship. My prayer is that when unbelievers are present and they see these exuberant Christians talking before and after church that they'll step a little closer to hear what all the fuss is about. My prayer is that when they step closer to hear the cause of the buzz, that they'll hear that the glory of God has captured the hearts of His people. My prayer is that the unbeliever will no longer say, "This is a really cool social club" but that they'll give glory to God for our speech and conduct (Matthew 5:16, 1 Peter 2:12) and recognize their wickedness and come to Christ for salvation.

1 Corinthians 14:24-25 But if all prophesy, and an unbeliever or outsider enters, he is convicted by all, he is called to account by all, 25 the secrets of his heart are disclosed, and so, falling on his face, he will worship God and declare that God is really among you.

Isn't this what we want? It won't happen, though, when the church is filled with over-entertained Christians.

The Plus Side Of Heresy

Several years ago, oh, back in 2003, I heard of a group of people that claimed that they were a new sort of Christian--a new kind, if you will. When I first heard of this movement under the umbrella of "christianity" I did not know that there was a difference between the terms "emerging" and "emergent." I just thought they all were part of the same group. Since then I've come to understand, a little better, the difference between the two.

One gentleman, in particular, seemed to be leading a vast group of people to generously question the truths of Scripture that had been taught since the Word was given. It seemed that somehow, for centuries, the church missed the truth and it was finally being discovered. Well, this bugged me a little...no, a lot. It sent me on a personal path of devotion to know the Scripture better and to warn others against false teaching. I imagine that behind closed doors there were some that thought I was quite fanatical about it and perhaps just on a hobby horse or something.

In looking back over the past several years I see how God used heresy and false teaching to bring me to where I am now. God used heresy to drive me to know the Word better which thus showed me some places where I was in grave error. God used heresy to drive me to watch over the flock better. God used heresy to lead me to study church history better. God used heresy to put a fear in me like never before when it came to preaching the Word. I am amazed at how God used something evil like this for His glory in my life.

Scripture says that heresy and factions in the church are most necessary. In saying that the implication is that it serves a huge part in displaying God's glory. How so?

1 Corinthians 11:19 for there must be factions among you in order that those who are genuine among you may be recognized.

God's glory is more clearly displayed when true believers are separated from false converts and teachers. Heresy serves the purpose of exposing false believers and teachers.

While we must combat false teaching and heresy...while we must hate it...while we must correct with gentleness those who oppose the truth in hopes that God may grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth so that they may escape the snare of the devil after being captured by him to do his will...while we realize that false teaching downplays and distorts the glory of God...NEVERTHELESS, in God's infinite wisdom His plan includes heresy as a way to let the church shine more brightly thus displaying His glory.

Wow! That just blows my mind. As I was preparing this week for this coming Sunday's sermon, this truth just leaped out at me from my studies. And I saw this truth played out in my life over the past several years. I thank God for showing this to me. While I was rather frustrated with others while trying to warn them about this stuff, I had no idea that the end-all of it would be God's glory. I know that this isn't some original thought and it's not new to Christianity. It's just new to me.

The Battle With Sin

A soul under the power of conviction from the law is pressed to fight against sin, but he has no strength for the battle. He must fight, but he can never conquer. He is like a man who thrusts himself on the sword of the enemy on purpose to be slain. The law drives him on, and then sin beats him back. Sometimes he thinks he has foiled sin, but he has only raised a dust, so that he cannot see the sin. He stirs up his natural affections of fear, sorrow, and anguish, and this makes him believe that sin is conquered when it is not even touched. He soon must be at the battle again, and the lust which he thought to be slain is seen to be not even wounded.
~ John Owen

It is quite a sad state that I find myself in. I am constantly fighting with this man who is determined to get the best of me and never let go. His choices of weapon are temptation, lust, and guilt. He comes at me with a ruthless assault determined to knock me down and keep me down. I have known this man for quite some time, for my whole life as a matter of fact. His place of residence is in the depths of my heart, soul, and mind. I have tried everything in my power to defeat this foe...I have prayed, gone to church, been religious, and have done everything I can to do the right thing. But alas, it has all been for naught. I cannot win. With every seeming victory, the enemy comes back at me with a barrage of attacks at my character and my supposed righteousness. He whispers softly in my ear, "You're a liar. You're a cheat. You're a thief. You're an adulterer. You're a murderer." How can I argue with this? He is right. I am all of those things and then some. I am defenseless and powerless against this savvy, old man.

Thank God someone has gone to battle for me. He accomplished what I never could. The enemy has no answer for His power. In Him there is no weakness. In Him there is no guilt. In Him, no imperfection is found. On a day that started out as any other, He changed the world forever. He was tried unjustly, sentenced to death unfairly, beaten endlessly, spat upon disrespectfully, humiliated pubicly, tortured mercilessly, and met death on a cross maliciously. How did this change the world? This isn't triumphant. This is death. This is defeat in all it's finality. The battle is seemingly lost, but ah, the war has been won. Sin no longer has power and death has lost it's sting. "Victory is mine!" exclaims the risen Savior! The grave could not contain Him and He has set the captives free. The very law that condemned me has been fulfilled to the fullest extent in this Man, the Christ, the Son of God. I no longer live, but the very power of this Jesus lives inside me! How thankful I am for the grace and peace given to me by my LORD, my Master, my All In All, my Everything, my Savior.

Knowing this, that our old man is crucified with him, that the body of sin might be destroyed, that henceforth we should not serve sin. - Romans 6:6