I have to take a minute and share God's goodness to me and my family. If God never did anything but show me gospel grace, I would always have to say that God is good. Yet in God's ever-gracious giving, He gives physical, material and daily blessings. We are taught by Christ Himself to ask the Lord for our daily needs and thus we thank God when He does provide.
For those that do not know, I sell cars for a living. This is the same job that the Lord provided for me when I moved back to Victorville to plant a church near the end of 2006, beginning of 2007. Since 1996 this is the only job I've held outside of a church (aside from the 2 years I worked part-time at a local high school to meet and evangelize students). Instead of making tents, I sell cars to support my family while we plug away at part-time ministry. It's been a blessing to recieve no salary from the ones I get to minister with. At the same time it has been a struggle to make a living selling cars.
My first year in the business was a tough one. The economy was fine, but learning about cars and learning the ropes for a new career was tough. I held my own and managed to keep the job. Thank you, Lord.
My second year was a lot better. I had a little more knowledge and experience. And although the economy struggled and sales dipped, I was able to make more of an income that second year because of the knowledge I had gained. God was good to our family financially and I was able to pay off all my credit cards and one of my cars. On top of all that I was still able to put about 4 months of income in savings. It took nearly two years to save that much. It was great because in my entire adult life (I'm now 36) I've never had more than a couple hundred bucks in savings. In 2008 I felt like the harvest came and I put away some grain in the storehouse.
Then came 2009. We began to see drastic changes near the end of 2008, but it hit like a hailstorm in 2009.
1. Chrysler filed for bankruptcy. We were in the news constantly! Customers were rude to us every chance they got. They expected us to sell cars for 10-15 thousand dollar losses. They rejoiced that we were hurting and they let us know it.
2. The banks had received their bail-out money but they were being stingy with the money. People with credit scores in the 700's and even 800's were having a hard time getting loans if the banks parameters didn't line up perfectly. It's like the banks didn't want to make money by loaning it out.
3. With Chrsyler out of bankruptcy, they had to elimate dealerships that were not performing well. We survived the cut, but they took suspended the flooring plan for all dealership. Our flooring plan is the line of credit we get to order new vehicles and keep them on the lot. Without it we have to pay for the vehicles with the owner's own money. Seeing that a dealership can easily have $10-20 million dollars of inventory, there was no way this was happening. So we continued to sell what little cars we had and watched our inventory rapidly deplete
4. The factories also shut down for several months. And we thought things couldn't get worse. What this meant was that even when our flooring plan was cleared, it would be several months after that before we'd start seeing a steady flow of new inventory come in. It looked bleak.
5. Cash for clunkers then came around. If you read the newspaper, watched television or read online, it may have appeared like this went over really well. But consider the previous things I just mentioned and you'll see that the program wasn't so hot. The factories were shut down, our flooring plan was suspended...on top of that our inventory levels were already extremely lean to try and prevent an outrageous monthly overhead cost. So when cash for clunkers came, it sucked up our inventory like a dry sponge. At one point we were about down to 7 new cars. Our lot was empty! No new cars could be ordered because the factories were closed...and even if we could order cars we had no flooring plan. Then came more customers attacks...."You guys are going out of business. Where's the two for one cars! You guys are done!" Constantly hearing things like this can really tear down your morale.
It's hard to sell cars with these constraintes. At one point our bosses and owners told us that our dealership might not make it. We might be forced to close because our hands were tied. The few people that were left vowed to "go down with the ship." I was blessed to be one of those. It was a brutal year. It was hard for me to smile most days. I often felt like bitterness and synicism was becoming a daily ritual for me. Yet I had the gospel to keep me grounded. Thank the Lord for that. I struggled many days to show others that my true treasure lay in Christ, not success or money.
I will remember 2009 as the year that our hands were tied, our mouth was gagged, our ears and eyes were covered and we still had to sell cars. My income for 2009 was nearly cut by 50%. Our savings account was bleeding to death and at one point I told our church that I might need monthly financial support to remain being their pastor. If I couldn't pay my bills I would have to pack up and move somewhere (in with the in-laws). Thankfully, we never needed the help. My wife and I cut back on anything and everything...and when we couldn't cut back anymore, we cut back some more. There were times when my asking my wife to watch the spending sent her into tears. She was already trying so hard and I was asking to her try harder. It breaks my heart to recall those moments.
It was an exhausting year. And I thank God for it. God taught me the value of being debt free. God taught me to depend upon Him for daily provisions. God taught me to be more content. God helped me to treasure Christ above all and to look forward to redemption day--how I long for Christ to return. God allowed me on many occassions to rejoice in the midst of frustrating circumstances. Although I have failed and sinned on many accounts, the Lord permitted me to grow a few inches in each of these (and many more) areas.
With the grain in my storehouse all but wiped-out I have tried and tried to use it as slowly as possible. Who knows how much longer we'll struggle through this economy and if a time like this will ever come again. Yet even in the midst of this, God has done something amazing for me and my family. This past month I had a great month and was paid several bonuses. This month I won a couple of contests: one in California and one for the West Business Center. On top of this I am having another great month in sales....AND for the first time in years I am getting some money refunded from my taxes. The short of it is this: what I saved during 2007-2008 was nearly depleted in 2009 and the beginning of 2010. From what I can tell, within a four week time period, God will have restored to us all that we lost in 2009. I'm speechless. That amazes me. God's blessing confounds me. What took 2 years to gain, 1 year to lose, has now been given back in 1 month.
It's like having rain in the middle of a drought. It's like having food in a starving belly. I say this with a grateful heart and yet I feel some sort of embarrassment for having been frustrated knowing that others have suffered way worse than I will probably ever suffer. Persecuted Christians, earthquake victims, flood ravaged cities...and the list goes on.
At the same time, I do not want to deprive God of His glory and praise for having provided for my family. He is good. And throughout life we all experience different degrees of hardship, frustrations, and calamities. Sometimes they're physical, sometimes mental or sometimes spiritual. This funky economy messed with me in all three areas and God has sustained me. Here I am...alive...still preaching...still with my family...still saved....still blessed. Indeed I have always been blessed and will always be blessed in Christ. So whether the Lord gives or takes away, we ought to bless His name. And right now it is my time to bless Him for giving. The Lord took away and He taught me to be better at praising Him in loss. But now my cup overflows. Thank you, Father.
