Insurance for Assurance

How sure are you of your salvation? How sure are you that you are saved? Maybe you have full assurance right now and can “read your title clear to mansions in the skies.” Or maybe you are constantly teetering in and out, fifty-fifty, never quite at peace, but neither altogether despairing. Or maybe, you really haven’t questioned your salvation much at all, in which case I would warn you that that means you probably should! But maybe you are none of these persons. Maybe, unlike them, you are like myself, and when you look into your heart for evidences of grace, instead of being comforted, you find in yourself so much sin, so much remaining corruption, so much hypocrisy, unmortified lust, and undefeated “old-man” habits, that you are prone to cry, “O wretched man that I am! Who will save me from this body of death?” Now, I’m not one to say that any of these states are in and of themselves good or bad, but I am one to offer my help regardless. And so, I hope to specifically address this last person, though in doing so I think I’ll help everyone. But before you continue, I want you to know that I am not here going to help you build yourself up to assurance of faith by pressing you to produce all your evidences of grace so that I may weigh them to see whether they are counterfeit or no, then say, “See! See! That wouldn’t be there if you weren’t a genuine believer!” Or, “Umm…. Well… I think we should maybe pray about a couple things here first…” Though that would be one way to go about it, that is a tedious task which I don’t have the skill nor the time to do even for myself (after all Mr. Edwards in his Religious Affections has already done this!). Not to mention, when I do try that route on myself I find I just deny all my own evidences of grace anyways. So let me submit to you a simple way of reasoning with your soul that I have found unspeakably helpful.


Let’s paint a scenario where we’ve all been, and maybe even you are right now. Let’s say you have just fallen, and your sin is “ever before you.” Let’s say your ‘bones are rotting away within you’, and your ‘strength is sucked right out of you as by the heat of summer.’ And let’s say you can hardly raise your head because sin has laid you low and your stuck in the ‘miry bog.’ And let’s say the Accuser is right now assaulting you, even a thousand times at once, saying something like, “Look at you. Do you sell your Lord so cheaply? Do you yet again betray and crucify your precious Jesus afresh? Ha! And look how quickly you do it! How easily! How often! How is it you could be one of the ones for whom he died when you think it but little to keep killing him again and again and again? You pitiful soul. Stop kidding yourself. You are no Christian. You have no interest in Christ. You have no true love to him. Your love for him is but from self-love. For you love your sins over your Savior. That is evident enough. Get off it. You have no part with Jesus. You are plainly still in your sins! You’re not one of God’s children. You’re still in open rebellion against Him! No, you have no assurance for your salvation. If you’re still here in sin after all this time, the only assurance you have is that you will never be saved. Seek for repentance with tears, yet just like Esau, you will never find it. Strive for it as you might, you have crucified once again the Son of God, and God condemns you Himself in His Word, ‘it is therefore impossible to restore such as you again to repentance. There no longer remains a sacrifice for your sins.’” And let’s say you feel it would just be a sin on top of sin to argue with him, and that you would just be deceiving yourself further to tell yourself that you are somehow still a Christian in light of your sin- still somehow a born-again believer, still in someway indwelt with the Holy Spirit and the same power of God that raised Jesus from the dead.


When you are in such a case, such a hopeless, despondent, maybe even suicidal case, speak to yourself this: Say to your soul and say to your Accuser, “Yes. Maybe you are right after all. Maybe I don’t have any reason to be assured of my salvation. Maybe I have no reason to be assured of anything good of myself at all. Maybe all I can be assured of is that I am truly the chief of sinners, yea the chief of all the chiefs of sinners, and that I ought to be damned to Hell quicker than anyone and ‘endure the worst of Hell’s furies for failing God so’! Maybe I am the worst sinner who has ever breathed and who will ever walk the face of this planet. Maybe it is all true. I wouldn’t doubt it. I can see it plain enough. And so it is difficult for me to believe I am saved or ever have been. It is difficult to believe I could even be saved! But still, this remains: Though it is difficult for me to believe I am saved, it is not difficult for me to believe in my Savior. I have no trouble doubting myself. But I cannot doubt Him. I may doubt my ability to be saved, but I do not doubt His ability to save me. I may be the vilest of the vile, and the filthiest of all, still I cannot question He has the strength to make a world, and the might to raise the dead! I may be too far gone, fair enough, but His arm reaches across the heavens. I may be too low, I may have gone too deep, but His Spirit searches even to the depths of Sheol. I may have sinned myself away, against mercy and light and grace, and maybe even I have crucified the Lord afresh and there is no sacrifice left for my sins; yet still His blood is sufficient to save the dirtiest and His hand is strong enough to keep even the most wayward. My sin may be too wicked, my secrets too dark, my past scars too deep, my offenses too grievous indeed for me to ever think I could have any part in Christ; but Oh! Jesus is more righteous, His blood is darker still, His scars are deeper, His mercy is even greater than my worst offense. Yes, when all’s said and done, I may not know if I believe, but I know whom I believe if I do! I may wonder whether I am a son of God, but I do not wonder about the Son of Man. I may doubt me, but I do not doubt Him. And though there may be a thousand reasons for unbelief in me, there are far more reasons for belief in Him. My sin abounds as infinite upon infinite, an abyss deeper and wider than the depths of Hell itself; yet His grace super-abounds all the more, His forgiveness is greater than my sin, His mercies are new every morning. Oh my guilt is much, but there is more mercy in Christ than sin in me! My need of forgiveness is desperate indeed, yet He is more ready to forgive than I am to be forgiven! Yes, ‘Forgiveness has been in his heart all along, and when I approach him to make right my wrong, he runs up to greet me, and draws to me near; embracing and kissing and ready to clear.’ So maybe you are right about me after all. Probably, I don’t know. But I do know I am not wrong about Him. Though I am unable, He is able. Though I am unwilling, He is willing. Though I am weak, He is mighty to save. Though I may even be dead in my sins, still He can raise the dead. Oh yes, it may be difficult for me to believe I am saved, but it is not so hard for me to believe in my Savior. And so I will keep believing in Him. He says, “I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst.” He says, “Let the one who desires, drink of the water of life without price.” He says, “Come to me all who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest.” He says, “All who come to me I will in no wise cast out.” He says, “Everyone who looks on Me and believes should have eternal life.” He says, “All who believe in me will be saved.” He says, “No one can pluck you from my hand.” He says, “If my Father began a work in you, He will bring it to completion.” He says, “Though you are faithless, I will remain faithful.” He says, “Though you were unlovely and unfaithful, and though you did not love me, ‘I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have continued My faithfulness to you.’” Oh, what Jesus says! Oh, who Jesus is! I don’t see much when I look into my heart, but I see Calvary when I look into His. I don’t hear much good when I listen to myself, but, Oh when I dwell where the cries of Calvary are louder than the clamor of my heart, then “I hear the Savior say, ‘Thy strength indeed is small. Child of weakness watch and pray, find in Me thine all in all.’”

Though guilt may come and comfort leave, this is assurance for me:

I may yet doubt if I believe, but I know whom I have believed.